Rethinking Your Kids’ Christmas Gifts

Christmas is coming, and if there is one common denominator we’re seeing on most our kids’ Christmas lists… it’s tech. The question is: should we really buy them that new “popsocket” phone holder or “light ring for the wannabe influencer”?

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m already seeing Christmas lists with the “top gifts for teens.” Costco has already had trees, wreaths and wrapping paper for sale for weeks now…and it’s not even Halloween! But I was curious what parents were being encouraged to buy for their kids this year, so I began perusing the top articles featuring “the best gifts for teens”… and as much as I hoped to see gifts that encouraged face-to-face interaction, exercise, or perhaps even outdoor activities… most gifts encouraged quite the opposite.

I don’t want to simply rant. That’s not my goal here. Instead I want to briefly compare what experts are advising to the “eye candy” being dangled in front of parents to buy for their kids.

A few examples:

A reading pillow, advertising, “for the girl who doesn’t want to leave her bed,” and the ad shows a picture of her sitting on her bed, relaxing on the reading pillow, reading… HER PHONE! I guess the library was closed.

Or how about a glow in the dark phone case… so you can easily access it by your bedside all night. Forget the fact that most researchers agree that it’s a bad idea for kids to have phones in the bedroom.

Or how about that “popsocket”… a little handle making it easier to hold your phone for long periods of time. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT OUR KIDS NEED, right? To hold their phone longer!

Can we just hit the pause button for a second? Let’s address the obvious. These idea might indeed be what our kids want. No argument there. The question I want to ask is, how do these gifts affect our kids’ mental health?

Let me give another example.

As I’m reading through these lists, I’m seeing lots of items shamelessly targeting “the young influencer.” For example, a “Ring Light Kit”, which is advertised as “perfect for the wannabe influencer.” It comes with a tripod, mic and ring light, claiming, “everything a young influencer needs to create professional-looking content on their smartphone.”

What does research show about something like this?

Studies do show 8 out 10 young people want to be an influencer in some way…but research also reveals the sobering reality that the more time people spend on sites where they are trying to achieve likes and followers… depression and anxiety skyrockets.

Wondering how this “ring light kit” helps with that.

My intention here isn’t to say that phones are bad or evil. And it’s not wrong to buy your kids some new headphones or even a new phone. My point is simply this: think through what you’re providing for your kid.

It’s like this. Would you give your kid a candy bar for Christmas? Sure. I would. But would you give your kid a machine on the wall with a little button they could push that delivers a candy bar to them every time they push the button… up to 57 candy bars per day? Probably not.

If you decide to give your kids a phone, consider first teaching your kids how to be responsible with a phone. It’s like the example I give in my book, Parenting Generation Screen. Would you give your 12-year-old the keys to your SUV before they ever learned how to drive it?

What if you spent a few weeks reading The Teen’s Guide to Social Media & Mobile Devices, taking your kids through the discussion questions and engaging them in conversation about some of the basic wisdom they need to know like who to “friend”, how much time to spend on their device, should they take it into their bedroom with them at night, etc.?

Then… and maybe then… buy your kid those headphones.

Maybe it’s time to not only rethink Christmas gifts, but what we’re prioritizing in our homes.

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